


Mai on Chily

by The Rambling Mai (Loopy)



Series: Mai's Ramblings [8]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, No Bashing, Parody, Zero Punctuation - Freeform, and making up what she doesn't know, and sometimes lying just for her amusement, just mai interpreting everything in the worst possible light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loopy/pseuds/The%20Rambling%20Mai
Summary: Mai's secret thoughts on all the Avatar ships- and you know the funny is coming when the driest, most critical personality in the show decides to let it all out! Everything Avatar is analyzed and described in the most ridiculous way possible! A fandom classic!Today, Mai looks at a pairing that's been legalized for medical use in most of the world and recreational use in the Earth Kingdom: CHILY!!
Relationships: Chong/Lily
Series: Mai's Ramblings [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989946
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Mai on Chily

**Mai on... Chily!**

"If I had to pick one couple in Avatar: The Last Airbender to stand as a shining antithesis of everything I value and live by, it would be the legally unrecognized pairing between the two NOT ENTIRELY SOBER hippies Chong and Lily.

"Both are part of a group of traveling nomads NO NOT AIR NOMADS JUST HIPPIES whose sole purpose in life is to basically wander around the Earth Kingdom playing music that has no business being heard by human ears. If it's heard by animals ears that may be even worse because believe it not there are some people out there who worry more about the suffering of turtleducks than humans AND MY BOYFRIEND IS NOT ONE OF THEM THANK YOU FOR ASKING. Chong plays a guitar-thing but not in any style I learned about in school, and it's probably irrelevant seeing as how his awful singing drowns out all other NOISE anyway. Lily plays something that looks like a flute but I've never actually heard it produce any sound either because it's one of those trick whistles that call down sky bison to throw intelligent young women into rivers or Chong is always singing TERRIBLY when she has it out. I think that's a pretty good metaphor for their relationship but at least they stay by each other's side through it all UNLIKE SOME BOYFRIENDS I COULD NAME.

"The other nomads in their group consist of a pair of non-musicians whose sole purpose appears to be to distract audiences from the horrible quality of the music with something that looks like rhythmic movement but never matches the actual 'rhythm' of the actual 'music' so I hesitate to call it dancing. There's also a fat man-child who dresses in pink and pounds a drum who I suspect may be Chong and Lily's illegitimate offspring because he acts like his mother drank Cactus Juice the whole time she was pregnant and OH AGNI HE DRESSES AND TALKS LIKE TY LEE THIS LINE OF THOUGHT IS STOPPING RIGHT NOW!

"Chong and Lily met the Avatar and his group when they happened upon the kids frolicking half-naked in a river and groping each other inappropriately. Deciding that such activity made them kindred spirits the hippies wove flowers into Katara's hair and offered to lead the group through a hole in the ground called The Cave of Two Lovers. Obviously Chong and Lily were trying to help their fellow (Air) Nomad finally score with his Water Tribe crush and so we can speculate that perhaps the pair had a similar dynamic to their relationship in their younger days, but I think it much more likely that they first met when they woke up next to each other coming out of a mist-weed haze and immediately declared themselves 'married'. Chong claimed that the only way out of the Cave was to let love somehow lead the way but then it doesn't speak well for his 'marriage' that he and Lily spent a WHOLE NIGHT wandering through the labyrinth and only got out when Sokka HE'S SO GOOD tamed a pair of Badgermoles and demolished his way back into daylight.

"The last anyone heard of the Earth Nomads was when they left the Avatar just outside of Omashu and hopefully wandered off a cliff or back into the EVIL LOVE CAVE because there's only so much hurt the world can experience and the Fire Nation was on the scene long before the terrible hippy music that Chong and Lily produce so we get priority.

"Now I'm going to have nightmares about Ty Lee singing. Again."


End file.
